Monday, April 29, 2013

Of Clarity and Scrutiny

So many unnecessary musings, so many unnecessary rants. I admit, I wasn't at my best this past week. For some reason, I was just going through this seemingly endless emotional roller coaster. What I did to make myself "feel better" was by channeling my thoughts on Twitter; day and night. I have to say, there are times when my tweets would turn out pleasant and rather prudent, but more often than not, they can just be utterly nugatory. For a week, I battled with my emotions by envisaging them in the form of tweets. You know how people keep telling you not to let your feelings bottle up? I indeed live by this principal, and sadly, I find solace through tweeting. 

What I would often do before a tweet is I'd stare into the screen for a couple of minutes and slowly plot my emotional tweets. When I think I'm pleased with my draft, I'd hit the "tweet" button. All is well until I flip through my tweets the next day. An immense sense of regret seeps in. Most of the time, I can see how subtly degrading a few of them really are. I don't want people to respond to some rubbish tweets make. I don't want people to silently "accept" negativity through my tweets. I don't want to portray myself as a weak and shallow person. This has all got to change. 

I'm thinking of giving myself at least one week away from tweeting so that I could begin learning about how to adapt to more proper ways of handling my problems. This has got me thinking of the a number of measures we could take when we happen to be down in the dumps. The best thing we can do is speak to God. He's always there for us and He heals us through mysterious ways. Interact with our family and friends. Engage in activities that can give us a boost of endorphins (exercising, eating chocolate, laughing). Take a few moments to think of the sufferings that people in war-zones face. They are losing their families, their homes. Compare all of that to what we're going through. Admit it, most of the time, the reason(s) to our sadness is/are pretty minor. And if we still wish to use Twitter, we just need to bear in mind that we should use it wisely (and positively). It's commendable to favourite/ retweet inspiring tweets, not tweets that makes us think that it's okay to be negative. Well technically, it's alright to actually let ourselves get soaked up with our sadness for a little while, but we just have to know when it needs to stop. By handling our negative emotions properly, not only we'll feel better sooner, but we'll look just so much better :)

As I will be moving to a new house (a new environment) this coming May, I thought that I might as well start freshening things up a little. I did some housekeeping on my Twitter account in which I deleted some of my tweets that I don't prefer to see. I basically left what I thought was acceptable, at least in my eyes. I hope that once I start tweeting again, I'll just be tweeting about relevant stuff. Twitter can be either good or bad for us. It all boils down to how we handle them :)

P/s: I have my finals coming up pretty soon. Do pray for me :) Thank you :)