Ramadhan this year is just less than half an hour away now in Malaysia. MashaAllah, I feel blessed to be given the opportunity to welcome this holy month. Strangely, I feel a little more excited about fasting this Ramadhan as compared to the years before. I don't know, maybe I'm starting to see how special Ramadhan is. The hype about it on social networking sites could also be a contributing factor :P
Anyway, I've been back home for more than a month already and I have obviously been quite low-keyed about my whereabouts. I don't really talk much to any of my friends. I even put up a "busy" status on BBM. At one point, I started to feel really uneasy especially when I see a lot of my friends hanging out with their other friends. It's not that I don't talk to any one of them at all, I just don't talk as much as I expected. There were many times when I would stare into my phone and plan on how I would express this feeling on Twitter. I didn't tweet because I felt that it's okay for me not to say it, but then it came up on my mind again and again. So here I go, I'm saying it here.
So, the truth is, I genuinely feel like spending almost all of my time with my family. I just miss them so much and it just doesn't stop there. The idea of spending time with my family isn't just about hanging out or talking for long hours. I actually feel like being there for them in times of need. I don't want them to see me with my phone and laptop 24/7. I have plenty of time to do all those later :) So basically, at home, I'm with my mum; my grandma and my youngest sister. My grandma needs a lot of attention and care because she's quite ill. My youngest sister has her school girl needs and my other sister, is away in boarding school. So all these while, it has always been my mum who takes care of everything in the house. She pays the bills, she sends my little sister to morning and afternoon school, she cooks, she bathes and feeds my grandma, she cleans; well, she does everything. So being able to be back home is such a blessing for me. It's a chance for me to help her, even though I can't do all those things as good as she can.
I've been wanting to say these things but I hope that nobody misunderstands my intention. I don't mean to have anyone take pity. Seriously, don't. In fact, there's nothing to be taken pity of. My mum is a cool, amazing and versatile woman. She does things like a pro (She can drive like an F1 racer) ;) I'm just hoping that people, especially my friends, understand why I don't have the urge of meeting up or having super long chats for this time being.
Phew, now that's off my chest :) InsyaAllah, in late August or early September, I'll open up to meeting up. I have been with my friends for 9 months straight. So all of that makes me want to be with my family so badly. I truly want my family to feel and get something out of my presence here :)
P/s: Once again, Happy Ramadhan! I apologize to everyone for my any of my wrongdoings and ignorance. May we start over with a clean slate? :)