Monday, January 24, 2011

Beauty Of Life

 I'm finally able to believe that I should just leave it to Allah to decide. I don't know why, all of a sudden, there's this tiny spark in me, starting to ignite. Beginning from right just now. I don't know why I felt like I had the most meaningful heart to heart talk with a friend of mine just now. It feels like I'm back on my feet again.

I'm sure I will always remember the last message you gave me the yesterday. You mentioned, "Be somebody kay." I will. I will make that come true, insyaAllah :) I think I can begin to see the other side of this break up. To me, for myself, it's an initiation of my maturity. I realize I have lots of things to learn from life and there are many more things to life.

"What would I want to tell my grandchildren about my life someday? Will want all my stories be revolving just around a guy? Or will I want my stories having a diversity; filled with adventure and memories with my family and friends? Will I want to spend 60 years left of my life just for a guy? Or will I want to spend those 60 years improving my qualities and making the world a better place? Will I want to let myself love a guy while I'm still unable to love my own self? Will I waste my life dwelling in the past while I know that we would never be sure of the good things that might turn out in the future? Will I accept a guy who can't accept me the way I am? Even if I already have a guy with me, will I ever know if he's going to be mine forever? Will I?"


You know, anything can happen anytime. We'll never be sure of anything that the future holds. If things seem bad now, it might be good later and vice versa. I'm always going to keep that in mind. That's the beauty of life:)

Anonymous

damn, i feel effing lonely boleyyy? :(


Ooh. Cute ass, teddy.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Don't Stop Believing :)

Assalamualaikum & Hello :)

Today I'll be expressing more about what I have been thinking about lately. I just miss writing. Haven't been around blogger that much these few days, busy with preparations for the finals.

I'm very sure that all of us have aspirations, dreams, goals, or whatsoever you call it. I have mine too. One time ago, I had the dream of getting 4 flat for my finals, retaining a good relationship with Allah and people around me, shedding off some weight and well, as you may possibly guess, there's definitely more to it. Unfortunately, things didn't go well and went way out of what I expected. I mean REALLY.

I thought my life was perfect before I entered college. I sort of had everything I wanted (except for the losing weight part; the opposite happened :D). I just thought I wanted to just keep things just like that. Even going to sleep makes me wanna smile. Life was heaven back then.

Moving into college life, my happiness went upside down. I lost everything (to me it seems like everything). I lacked thinking of Allah. I could tell people that everything happens for a reason (semua perkara yang terjadi ada hikmahnya), but sometimes I'd be the one breaking down and cry, marah-marah sampai tak terkawal. It's saddening to be acting out that way, thinking of the fact that I helped advising people quite numerously.

Now I'm trying my best to control myself and I'm trying to lift myself back up. I realise that it's impossible to change permanently overnight. It takes a lot of hard work and perseverance. I've had enough with conflicts and I hope, by any chance, I wouldn't be dealing with any serious ones involving other people in the time to come.

Alhamdulillah, for now, I can feel that I'm trying to change into the better. Taking baby steps here and there. I admit that I relapse, but it doesn't mean that I'm losing. I've never really felt this way and it feels genuine somehow. Up till now, not even the slightest change in me can be seen by the naked eye, but no matter what, I want to convince myself that it's okay if nobody knows, as long as I get to feel better about myself.

I've heard a story but I'm not really sure if it's actually true. I'm pretty sure it is. It's about a man who has this urge to steal and he steals everyday. Without stopping. However, at night, before he goes to bed, he would repent; he would ask for forgiveness from Allah. He would spent hours crying, asking for forgiveness from Allah. It's rather ironic thinking of the fact that he steals in the day and repents in the night. He eventually died and surprisingly, after all the stealing he committed, Allah forgave him.

What I'm trying to say is, no matter how sinful we are, or how spoiled we become, if we try our best to ask for forgiveness from Allah, it's not impossible that we'd be forgiven. I have been having numerous dilemmas involving my relationship with Allah and I often feel bad about them. There was until this one part when I felt like giving up asking for forgiveness from Him because I felt like a hypocrite. The only thing that made me NOT give up is thinking that Allah is indeed the Al-mighty and He is full of forgiveness if we strive to ask for it.

Perhaps, somebody might be dropping by this blog and reading this. I'm not an ustazah, being that good in all of this. I'm just a student expressing my point of view. I just hope I could share something. If you're a muslim and if you feel the way I feel, then just bear in mind that there's no such thing as giving up in changing into the better. You shouldn't worry if you suddenly experience a glitch because climbing to the top is never easy. As long as you have that good intention and you're trying to work for it, then that's the best that can ever happen to you. And bear in mind too that after working hard, always be ready to accept failure because there's a probability in almost anything :)

I pasted a sort of like my own quote next to my mirror in my room. I wrote:

"Forgive him,
Forgive them,
Forgive yourself,
Ask for forgiveness from Allah,
Then only you'd find PEACE."

Thanks for reading and it's okay if you're a silent reader. Hehe. Hope there's some benefit here and there in this post. Do correct me if I'm wrong yea :)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Hostel Life

Ahahahh, rasa dah macam tak betul. Ngantuk, tapi tak boleh nak tidur. Tula pasal, sape suruh minum kopi tongkat ali? -___-" Otak dah penat, badan je tak penat penat. Rasa cam nak mintak sesape cepuk muka ni bagi pengsan kejap so I can get some sleep. Nak? O_o

Bila tengah segar bugar pagi-pagi buta ni, sumpah teringat kat zaman SPM dulu. Except the fact that I don't stay up sangat pun. Hehehhh. Dulu stay up mesti nampak orang lain tengah stay up. Sekarang stay up satu kelibat pun tak nampak. Dah terperap dalam bilik sorang-sorang memanglah kan? Dulu stay up study tak sampai setengah jam, pastu duk bergayut kat bilik iron sampai 2-3 jam. Berapa round supersavers. Nangeh la, bincang aspirasi la, bina impian la. Cett, semua jadi habuk dah. Hahahhh. But I can never and will never want to forget all of this. Rindu :3

Alang-alang tengah ada mood sentimental pasal maktab ni, baik jugak tunaikan hajat kawan ni :) Teehee. Dah berkurun baru nak jawab kan? Sorry dearyyy -___-"


Hmm, okay, macam mana nak mula? Hmm. Okay siyes, memang tak boleh lupa la time kat MRSM TGB dulu. Cehhh, sengaja dibesaukan nama tuh. Banyak kenangan terindah & kenangan "terindah" kat situ. Dah keluar maktab, baru sedar betapa seronoknya sebenarnya jadi warga TGB. Though kena melalui macam-macam dugaan. Hehe. I'm never gonna forget segala roll call malam & cerita-cerita hottt kat TGB dulu. There's so much to cerita and I can take hours to write about them ;D

Life kat asrama ni, kalau tak biasa, mula mula memang rasa stress sikit sebab semua kt kena buat sendiri. Tapi lama-lama dah biasa lah. Lagi pun, for girls, isn't that good? :) Since duduk asrama lah I learnt to manage myself well. Daripada belajar cuci jamban berjemaah sampai belajar seterika Milo Fuse nak wat coklat, complete la untuk belajar survival. I entered MRSM since form 1, budak kecik cinonet lagi, memang banyakkkkk mende yang tak reti nak wat, so entering boarding school really did change my life :)

Both the boarding schools I went to, to me lah, tak la stressful pun. Kat my place takde ragging *ikut pandangan masing-masing jugak lah ragging tu didefinisikan camne* :D Tapi cam lek lek je life kat my place tengoknya. Takdela kena bangun pukul 4 pagi, cuci jamban guna berus gigi tiap-tiap hari. Eh memang I'm into jamban kan. Kat kolej pun memang keje suka cuci jamban. Haha -__-"

Masa kat MRSM Lenggong dulu, I tried out to become an LDP, Lembaga Disiplin Pelajar *keh keh, nama nak gempak*. LDP tu pengawas, tapi orang suka panggil mawas. Sob sob. Haha :D But I personally dun mind pun sebab masa dulu pun my perangai dua kali lima je kawan-kawan lain. Hehe. Kadang-kadang tu adalah rasa bersemangat LDP sikit, tapi most of the time, I just stuck to my perangai budak budak :P Hah, one thing, time jd LDP dulu, memang tak boleh lupa la time saje-saje tangkap budak-budak nyorok time roll call. 5-6 orang sekali macam sardin tahan nafas balik pintu. Kikiki. Comel la korang :D

Masuk MRSM TGB pulak, I changed my preference. I joined EMC, English Motivational Committee, which is a whole lot different than LDP. I really had the chance to be kanak-kanak ribena! Seriously kat asrama, overall, memang banyak chance untuk serlah bakat & express ourselves. It's very good lah. Personally, I will always say that being an EMC memang pengalaman terbaik! :) Saying all this makes me miss all my teachers and friends a lot :(

Bab study, study kat MRSM memang kondusif for me. Why? It's because u kinda can choose ur study style. Ada yang suka study tengah malam, tengah padang, atas atap, bawah meja. Yang lain tu lain pulak. Macam-macam la. Ramai je kot tak ikut sangat lights off semua, lagipun ktorang tinggal bukan dalam dorm, ikut bilik. Ntahlah, seriously, tak stressful sangat lah MRSM :)

At MRSM, one of the best part is masa exam nak dekat. Bilik guru memang penuh. Meriah macam sambut Thaipusam. Dulu muka ni memang muka FAIL add maths. Sebesar-besar F tu ada kat dahi ni. So muka ni la wajib kena ada kat bilik guru. Alhamdulillah berkat cikgu mengajar, dapat jugak berjaya untuk add maths dalam SPM. That's the magic of studying kat asrama which I can't really understand, sampai sekarang :)

Okay I'm tired. Harap boleh tidur pasni. Rasa macam banyak je lagi yang boleh cerita tapi otak dah berhenti berfungi. Karat da mali. Okay, memang bosan sangat tak boleh tidur la kan sebabnya tulis ni. Memang merapu. Haihhh. Nite :)

Sunday, January 09, 2011

Memang Thanks Banyak Banyak

Whoever's behind the name "Maisarah Adnan", I hope ur happy succeeding in making him think bad things about me. Thanks sangat-sangat tau. Misi kau memang berjaya. Pergh, tabik spring kat kau. Kau memang stalker terhebat. Nanti aku mintak Mark Zuckerberg bagi award kat kau eh? :)

p/s: I'm not going to waste my chance to Ireland just for this useless matter. Focus.

Dugaan Lagi

Allah, please show him the truth & justice.
Allah, please give me the strength to face this fitnah.
Allah, please give me the strength to focus on my exam.
Allah, please give me the best I can deserve.
Please ya Allah, please.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Hoyeahhh

Yeayyy! Hurray! Yippee! Woohoo! Tak boleh study -____-" Dah hilang mood sangat nak study, ni la cari keje nak naikkan mood. Ngan baju kuning duk rumah tu, konon pergila melawa kan. Nak make up tapi tak reti. Kikiki. Bila amik gambar pun muka pun jadi slenge sebab alik-alik nak make up, jadi cenggitu jugak. Nak belajar lah make up. Hohohhh. Tapi malas jugak. Apa daa. Semuanya malassss. Tapi syes lepas dah make-up konon-konon ni, terus boleh study. Dua chapter HBP abis, siap ngan notes berkaler-kaler! *cehh cehh* Hahahhh! Patut buat camni lagi often? Agaknya kalau pasang bulu mata palsu, pastu make up lagi tebal, lagi banyak mende yang boleh study kot? Ada lak camtu? :P

Yeay Emily! :D



I just admire this girl & I sooo loveee this original song of hers! I wish she's gonna do a real recording or something. Born and raised in New Zealand, she's a real beauty with talent! The way she plucks the guitar really mesmerizes me :D Watch her other videos too. Especially the One In A Million- Neyo (Cover). Her videos are damn awesome! ^_^

Friday, January 07, 2011

Raise Your Metabolism!

I have been having quite a heavy fever for two days already & it's really the least I expect right now, especially when exam's in two weeks time! I'm freaking out coz it's very hard to concentrate with all that vigorous activity in my nose canal. Wuwuwu. The only thing that makes me feel a little bit okay by the thought of having fever is the thought that they say Allah will forgive our sins when we fall sick. Hehehhh. That's thinking on the positive side :P

Two of my friends suddenly called me up randomly today & my girls were very concerned too. Those things actually helped me of raise up my spirit (& fastened the healing of my health!). Yeay wee to them! :) Now I hope that bad little kumans will go shoo-shoo away from me as soon as possible. Don't come back just yet. It's not the right time :(

Hahh, okay okay, enough dengan cerita orang sakit. This is the real story, satu paragraph je. Haha. Tadi I read Yahoo! News. There's this article on how to boost metabolism. Interesting for a fatty-fatty bom bom like me. Hehe. Well, sungguh tak sangka that eating fatty food in the morning & drinking cold water a lot can boost metabolism. Tak yah diet pagi2. Makan je berlambak-lambak, eat like a king! Caffeine comsumption plak memang tak dinafikan boleh meningkatkan metabolism. Baru terjumpa dalam notes biology tadi. Hehe. Tapi make sure jangan minum before tidur sudah! Tak pasal2 insomnia plak kan. Ouh yeahh, taking intervals between high-impact cardio exercises pun boleh meningkatkan metabolism! Jadi kalau jogging, janganlah jogging terus-menerus. Better berselang-seli :) Minum green tea pun sangat elok (untuk orang selesema pun bagus :D)


Mak aihh, sedapnya T____T Mummy nak balik umahhhhh! Wuwuwuwuuu

Okay, kenapa perlu increase metabolism? It's good if u wanna burn fat fast, that's the simplest reason for this in my eyes :D Alritey, I'm planning to study right after this and I sure hope I can manage it. Takmaulah menghadap buku lima minit je pastu tumbang kan. Adodoiii. Oklah. Seperti biasa, I dunno how to end my post. Hee. Haihh merepek je laa minah ni. Daa~ :P

Thursday, January 06, 2011

I Simply Love This Guy!


I don't know if you'd be surprised by this video, but I sure was!

p/s: The weather's making me unwell. Haihhh. Sorethroat, fatigue, mood-swings, all compressed in one. Pray that I'd cure soon aitte :(

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Teehee :D

Drew this thanggg out of boredom XD 


Mana tak malas,
Mana tak gemok,
Mana tak malas & gemok?
:D

Pendrive Giveaway :)

PENDRIVE GIVEAWAY! :)

Tagged by: Kak Ieda (http://iedaimmi.blogspot.com/)

Nampak menarik, why not join kan? Mana tau ada rezeki dapat pendrive :P


I wanna tag:

Hannah
Iylni
Saiyi
Teen
Isha

Sharing Is Caring

I didn't go to college this morning. I just felt so messed up. It's the first day of my cycle (rupa macam nak canang kat semua orang) & I felt like dying (okay ni hiperbola). I was disappointed that I couldn't make it to class because today's the last SGD (Small Group Discussion) and I wanted to join it real bad coz I have this sort of passion with it. I already printed out my notes for that SGD with full of perfection and I knew that if I didn't make it to class, it wouldn't be useful.

I didn't know what came into me, but one thing for sure, I was feeling like a total ass this morning. Macam nak marah semua orang, muka cam Garfield tak dapat lasagna & siap menangis lagi. Pelik betul lah. Hormonal imbalance yang sangat kuat kot sampai sensitive bagai nak rak. Penangan first day of cycle kot (canang lagi).

I did mention that I was disappointed tak dapat guna my notes for SGD tu kan. My friend decided to borrow it and because of my terrible mood swing, I was sad when she borrowed it. All I thought of was the effort I put into it and how badly I wanted to use it. 

BUT lesson 1# for today, sharing is caring. Now that I'm okay, I thought that hey, I ACTUALLY helped someone with that. Maybe I didn't get the chance to use it, but somebody else was certainly able to gain benefit from it. Menyesal jugak rasa sedih semua (biasalah manusia, kadang-kadang perasaan tak terkawal & fikiran singkat), but then we can learn from mistakes (if we open our hearts to learn from it). 

So now, I'm actually feeling much much better. Everything comes for a reason & I hope that I'd be more certain of that each and every day :)


Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Happyyy :)

Whoahhh, happynyaaa dapat accomplish more than what I expected today :D Well, despite indulging in a bar of Snickers just now. Haihhh. Alritey, off to work now. There's just less than 3 weeks left to the final examination. Ya Allah, may all my friends and I gain good results; at least enough for us to pass the requirements needed. Amin~! :D ♥

I think sentences without smileys look mean :( That's why I overuse them (?) :D

Monday, January 03, 2011

A Blogger's Noobness :D

Assalamualaikum & Hello :)


Hee. I have been waiting to get into the mood of writing a new post in this blog. I have been crazy enjoying myself reading and dropping by other peoples blogs and I wish I had their semangat of updating their blogs frequently. Banyak cerita nak sumbatkan, tapi malaih punya pasal, memang camtu camtu la kan.

It has already been 3 days since the new year began and I have been wayyyy excited ever since. Resolutions banyak lah kan konon :D Tampal resolutions kat belakang jam so that konon-konon everytime before tidur akan tgk :D Kihkih. Excited, excited.

So far, I'm getting on well with my plans. Hurrayyy. I hope this would continue though! :) Can't wait to see the results. Hehe. I'm definitely turning into a much happier girl ♥.

Okay, rupa macam banyak nak cerita (memang banyak pun tapi tak tahu nak susun mana satu dulu mana satu kemudian). Teehee. Takpelah, sumbat-sumbat jelah mana-mana sempat kan :)

Ever since I started to know more about blogging, I started knowing what "blogwalking" means and how u get people to drop by ur blog. I also learnt how Nuffnang works and it's very interesting :) Noob gila kot pasal mende2 ni. Padahal account blogger ni dah lebih setahun dah, tapi tak pernah nak amik pusing. Hahahh.

Adding the shoutbox was my biggest emotional challenge. Cehh. I just started trying out blogwalking and I was actually kinda scared. I'm scared that nobody would ever try to check out my blog. But heck, why should I kan? I might as well just take the chance. Like nobody would probably be that mean to laugh at a newbie like me *or would you?* XDD Well I'm sure that many bloggers feel this way too the first time they start something new ;)

And there it goes, I would keenly check my blogger for any new updates for any new comments, new links at my chatbox & the best thing of all, new followers. I'm blessed to say that along the way, I virtually met a few bloggers who are quite popular but very kind indeed. I came to know a few active bloggers like Kak Ieda (she's very nice, do visit her blog) and the Hijabis (well, I just know them, but I never got a chance to talk to them or whatsoever). Also not forgetting my friends who literally brought my blog into life like Iylni, Hannah, Saiyi & Nuyuk. You girls rawk~! :D

Now I wonder who else would write an entire post about his or her noobness in blogging XD One of them is surely me! :P

If you have read my previous posts, you might have noticed that I just went through a painful break up. I wrote long posts expressing my journey after my break up and to my surprise, there were quite a number of people (who I never personally knew) commenting on my posts. They were so supportive and I'm thankful with their efforts. There's this one comment that got me pretty amazed because of two things. 1# The commenter wrote a comment which was one page long 2# The commenter's anonymous!. I'm shocked that somebody would be that nice to help others. You can view the comment here.

Last but not least, before I post this, I want to express myself regarding my addiction towards editing my blog. Padahal tak pandai pun, tapi suka sangat! :D I loveeee changing my banner, editing things here and there and I can sit for hours just editing my blog padahal hasil cam lebih kurang sama je! I don't really know why, but it's weird, don't u think? :D

Alritey then. I made a deal to myself. I haveeeee to study after I post this one. And it's already time! Thanks for dropping by; well if somebody happens to drop by, of course. Ehehee XD

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Addiction! Yikes!

I wonder why online-ing is so addictive! @_@
I wanna graduate in a real Medical Institution, not in Internet Addict University! -___-"

What's This Freakayyy Thanggg?


Yeah, obviously it's written there that it's "Asia-Pacific's First Blog Advertising Community" :P I often see it in other peoples' blogs but I don't really know how it works. It looks, interesting. Haha, again, the noob me! XD Any blogger veterans care to share some knowledge?  Like how do u add it in ur page? What do u get from adding that in ur blog? C'mon, somebodayyy has to tell me hahaha *puss and boots eyes* :DDD