Friday, October 14, 2011

My Story of P & Q

Assalamualaikum :)

"I truly have never expected Allah will deliver the answers to the dilemma that was surrounding me this soon."

This was what has been repeating in my mind after I got back from the Ohana gathering & the Quranic Circle. I can't recall when began to have the habit of thinking negatively towards so many people and things in life. I wasn't brought up like this, I was optimistic. As I grew older, I have realized that I was gradually sinking into negativity. I'd often get angry very quickly if I see somebody ticking me off. I'd try to correct what I think is wrong while not thinking of the sensitivity of others. I'd judge people and the situation around me almost so immediately. This is one of the biggest weakness that I have. In fact, I have always thought that I am doing the right thing.

Somewhere in my life, I reached a point where I started disliking this one person cause I thought that that person was selfish. I'll call that person "P" here in my post. P has always had this character that is different from what I am used to. I thought that P doesn't care about anyone else other than that P's ownself. I even thought that P  is one of the worst people I have ever met on earth. Every little mistake that P does will drag me into much more fury. Every little action of P will reflect as something negative in my eyes, even if P's intentions may be true.

I have thought of confronting P. I thought that the best thing to do is by telling P to change.

But then, somebody stopped me. I'll refer that somebody to as "Q". Q is much more of a patient person. Q, in this case, is a total opposite of me. Q doesn't like to fight. Q always puts people first. When someone hurts Q, Q would repay that someone with nice little gestures, give some presents and shows kindness. I thought that Q is so timid. I questioned Q of why Q just lets people get away. Q replied that Q thinks it's better to take care of a friendship that exists rather than trying to mend it and hurt people. With my hard-headed-self, I pushed away that opinion. I thought it's ridiculous. I thought that if we want to make things better, we must confront that person and tell that person what is wrong with them.

Then later that night, I attended the Ohana gathering. Towards the end of the gathering, the leader of the group shared about positive thinking. I opened my heart and listened to what she had to say. She told us a story, one that I have heard before. If you'd like to know about the story, you can look at it here: Rasulullah s.a.w. & Pengemis Yahudi Buta.

Believe me, I felt like I had something stuck in my throat upon being retold about the story. Up till before that gathering, I had been wondering what I should do in my situation of P & Q. I got the answer. I really did.

I thought back, P had been and is still a dear friend. It's only at certain times, P takes things a little bit too far and P may not even notice it. And I, as a "good" friend, I judged P and thought of changing her using the harsh way cause I think that that's the only way I can get it into P's head. But NO! It's not the best way! There is a better way. Just look at Rasulullah, in the story. Rasullah was so calm and temperate. He didn't even scold the woman one bit, in fact he gave her food to eat! How wonderful is that?

I have never thought that what Q was doing was actually the right thing to do. I thought it was cowardly and not brave at all. I thought that by acting like Q, I'll be stepped on. I was completely wrong. From what I can see, even Rasulullah s.a.w., Allah's messenger, didn't feel that he needed to prove to people he must be treated right at all times because he knows that being patient will bear millions of good things in the end.

I will always remember that fighting and telling the hurtful truth isn't the best way to solve things. When people gives you thorns, you give them roses. I am sorry P for thinking so negatively about you. Thank you Q for pulling me away from what I could've done. Praise Allah s.w.t. sending Rasulullah s.a.w. as a role model in our lives. In everything, there is always hikmah :)

Found this on tumblr :)