Saturday, December 11, 2010

What? A Break Up?

Like I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I just went through a break up. Well, technically, I can't consider it as a break up coz we never declared as a couple. But we acted like we did. Yea, everything seemed fine for almost 2 years being together. But things got way out of hand a few months into college. He started to execute some of his life objectives which really contradicts mine. He's an 18 year old guy, what can I expect more than seeing him wanting to live his life uncontrolled by a steady girlfriend and excelling in his studies. It can't work out for us at this stage, this age.

Fyi, I'm not the on off coupling type of girl. I aim long term relationships. Unlucky for me, this one was stunted. Even though it might seem over, it isn't for me. I still keep some of my hope to mend all this and secretly, *anddd it's not such a secret if I write in in here ehehhh* I want him and I to be reunited someday when the right time comes. Hmm, but that's a long way to go I suppose and I wouldn't even know if it'll even happen. I keep praying to Allah that He would decide the best for us though.

Btw, I came across one of my friend's blog and I read her post about the break up and nikah thingy. I agree some things with her, but as someone having the experience of involving in a bf/gf relation, I must say I have some things to add. It is true that coupling is not a wise thing to do and it even breaks the rules and regulations Allah has set for us. True, very true. As I said before, I am NOT the type who goes on and off in coupling. I am NOT the wild type of girl.

You know, before I was involved in relationships like this, I always thought I was a strong young girl when it comes to temptation with boys. I always hated seeing other people dating by the staircase or simply, I hated seeing people coupling. I looked down at them. However, things changed the moment I began to get involved in a boy-girl love relationship. I started accepting seeing couples react, only because I was already in it! I became more "open-minded" about coupling, and the more I got involved in it, the more lenient I became.

Now that I have broken up with the guy I love so much, I have a diverse perspective on coupling. The opinions I have in coupling are definitely different from before I coupled and during coupling. I must say, to those who still have their names preserved as in having a record of never coupling before, please keep it low and try as much as possible to cling strong to ur principle of not wanting to couple before marriage (if you do have that in mind). Don't simply believe that ur strong enough to withstand temptation coz once you fall in love, ur opinions on coupling will change slowly, coz ur in it. Don't be proud that ur not a the victim of the coupling sin, unless u safely made it to marriage. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but it's really based on my true experience.

Before coupling, I had the pride of "Ouh yeah I am so well-preserved, I have never coupled before. Couples are gigolos and bitches. I'm NEVER going to be like them." But now, after experiencing coupling myself, I can't say that anymore. I have to eat my words. And now, I don't have that judgement anymore. I can't say that coupling should be continued and should be supported coz it IS wrong in the name of Islam. All I can say is, I really hope that those muslim people who are in love before marriage, put restrictions, be firm about ur dignity. And if possible, don't be in love too long before marriage. Get married as soon as possible. That's the BEST thing u can do if u think of God and the purity of ur love.

Truthfully, this is how I see it in my eyes.

p/s: I tried to find out the meaning of coupling and some refer the word coupling as the act of uniting sexually. Some don't consider it like that. I hope u guys know what I mean :)